Happy Slightly-Used-But-Still-in-Excellent-Condition Year!

And let us pretend that I didn't resolve to blog every single day I had access to a computer, shall we?

Actually, I didn't make any resolutions, per se, in the sense of writing down a list of habits I hope to break or acquire or accomplishments I hope to log. Instead, I'm looking to continue to advance on the goals I identified late last year, before my husband's hardware issue and the holidays derailed me: write, and hopefully earn my bread that way; feed my body good food and exercise it so it will be healthy; and have my home clean and organized enough so that I can welcome guests at any moment without embarrassment. But I am not resolving to do these things.

I dislike resolutions, because once they're broken, they're broken. You can patch them back together again, but I can see every time I look at them where I've clumsily taped them together. They start to seem not worth it: if I can't do it perfectly, why bother? And it's only taken me forty-something years to realize that I can't do it perfectly. I'll never do it perfectly. But I have to do something. It makes me too unhappy not to.

So I'll continue, I hope, to lurch forward: writing most days, eating mostly healthfully and exercising more than I used to, cleaning enough to make my house welcoming but not enough to feel like a drudge. I'll forgive myself in advance for the inevitable slip-ups. I'll not worry if I can't see every step of the way to the goal I hope to reach. I won't even worry if I can't completely identify the goal, as long as I can identify a generally correct direction in which to lurch. I'll do things that make sense to me. I will remember that I have sense, even if someone tries to convince me otherwise.

I'll make a lot of soup. Not because it necessarily advances any goals, but because I really like soup. I'll pray for people I dislike, because it really does seem to help unclench the tight little fist of my heart--and who knows but that it helps them become more likable? I'll stop saving my good underwear for an important occasion. I am reasonably sure I'll be able to buy more "good" underwear if needed. Also, I struggle to imagine the occasion for which I would be saving that good underwear. My husband sees my drawers almost every day. And any situation in which a wider audience sees me in my panties will probably have overriding components that render the condition of my underwear irrelevant: a public mental breakdown in which I strip down in the mall fountain, for example, or a nuclear attack in which my outer clothes are vaporized.

I will not attempt to eat collard greens ever again. I hate collard greens. Every several months I try them because they are good for me, or someone tells me I would love collard greens the way their grandmother prepares them. No. I am here to tell you that God's grandmother could prepare collard greens and I would not like them. Life is too short to waste shoveling collard greens past my lips. (I have not given up on kale, however).

All of which is a way of saying I'm hoping to be kinder to myself, and hopefully to others, too. And if I manage to accomplish that most of the time, it will be a very good year indeed. I wish the same for you. Let me know if you want some soup.

Comments

[julie]

Kale chips were the solution for us. Toss 'em with a little olive oil and sea salt and bake (broil? can't remember) them until they're crispy. You have to really watch them because it doesn't take very long.

Have yet to find an appropriate use for collard greens.

Here's to doing something in 2012! Cheers!

[WadaHody]

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