Why the name of this blog will not be changed to "Serene, Unruffled Girl" anytime soon

Twelve Anxieties about upcoming move to Georgia:

1. I'm about to pack myself and my innocent, unsuspecting babies into a sealed metal tube that will go hurtling through the air miles above the earth at hundreds of miles an hour. What kind of mother does that?
2. They have snakes in Georgia.
3. Venomous snakes.
4. I'm not sure it's such a great idea to move to a place where the state crop could kill one of my kids.
5. The nearest Trader Joe's is 79 miles away.
6. People will think I'm a hippie bolshevik who hates Jesus, babies and America because I'm a liberal.
7. People will think I'm a rabid terrorist who hates Jesus, babies, and America because I'm an Arab.
8. People will not care whether I'm a terrorist or a hippie bolshevik, because I'm a Yankee and I don't drink sweet tea.
9. I will have no friends.
10. My children will be shunned because they are the children of a hippie bolshevik Arab Yankee who doesn't drink sweet tea.
11. The lovely, crisp "new home smell" in our lovely new home will turn out to be toxic and I will wake up some morning soon with severe and irreparable brain damage.
12. The lovely, crisp "new home smell" in our lovely new home will turn out to be toxic and I will wake up some morning soon with severe and irreparable brain damage, and nobody will be able to tell the difference.

Comments

[Susan]

OK nervous girl, let me see if I can help ease any discomfort you may be feeling...

12 Positive Things About Moving to Georgia:

1. Your children will NOT be attending Atlanta Public Schools.
2. You will not develop a drinking problem, because $3 Buck Chuck is 79 miles away.
3. Paula Deen lives in Georgia.
4. Pee-cans (make sure you say it that way and they will forget you are an Arab, hippy, liberal, Yankee).
5. Peaches
6. There are a lot of red-necks who need a nice lady lawyer - makes 'em look good.
7. No snowblowing
8. The kids can now get a dog - might I suggest a cute terrier, rumor has it that they are good killers of rats, mice and even snakes!
9. You have 2 flags to salute instead of just one - more is better,right? (You don't have a problem flying a Confederate flag in your yard, do you???)
10. You can start a book club - your first book choice could be "The Help" - point out how those maids had "uppity" attitudes. If you do this, they will also forget you are a hippy,liberal, Yankee,Arab woman.
11. You can wear your hats and pretty dresses year round!
12. You will always have your FB friends.