Lemonade Stands: The Rules

For adults:

1. If you are driving and see a lemonade stand, and you can safely do so, you must stop and purchase lemonade.
2. You know you have change in that cupholder. Use it to make a kid happy.
3. Especially if one of the proprietors is under eight years old.
4. Especially if the proprietors are jumping up and down trying to get you to stop.
5. Super-especially if the car ahead of you sped up as they passed the stand and the kids are looking a little dejected.
6. It's helpful if, when you pull up, you act like you were so parched that these kids and this cup were the only thing standing between you and the buzzards circling overhead.
7. Even if the cup was white when it came out of the package and it's gray when it's handed to you.
8. You don't have to actually drink the lemonade if has an odd color, odor, temperature, consistency, or has anything other than lemon pips or ice floating in it.
9. You do have to pretend to at least take a sip, smack your lips, and declare the contents delicious and/or refreshing.
10. The standard tip on a twenty-five cent cup of lemonade is 300%. Don't be stingy. 

For kids:

1. The going rate for a cup of lemonade is 25 cents.
2. If your sign advertises lemonade for 25 cents, I'm going to give you at least a buck if I have it.
3. If I pull up to your lemonade stand, because that's what I do when I see lemonade stands, only to find that your sign advertises lemonade for a DOLLAR, I'm going to have some heightened expectations for that lemonade.
4. Such as that it was hand-squeezed from organic lemons by Patrick Dempsey.
5. In a loin cloth.
6. In front of me.
7. Kids, go in the house, I have to have a little conversation with Mr. Dempsey about his squeezing technique.
8. (Ahem). Okay. If your sign advertises lemonade for a dollar, I will give you your dollar, but I would sort of expect that that six ounce styrofoam cup be more than half-full.
9. Also that what it would be more than half-full of would be lemonade and a little ice, not water that looks like it was shown a picture of a lemon for a few minutes, and some floaty specks.
10. If your sign advertises lemonade for a dollar, you can pretty much forget about a tip, other than "consider lowering your price for three ounces of vaguely lemony sugar water."
11. I'm not going to blow you in to the health department for that stained t-shirt or the lack of an "employees must wash hands" sign, but it would be nice if you kept your finger out of your nose until the transaction is over and I've walked or driven away.
12. If only one party is saying "Thank you," at the end of the transaction, I'm thinking it really shouldn't be the one ponying up the cash.

 

Comments

[landismom]

lol

[Lisa]

I have missed our writing for 2 years! So glad you are back!

[Belstaff Shop]

He is a good friend that speaks well of us behind our backs.