The School Book Fair: The Rules

1. We are here to buy books.

2. Number one would seem obvious, but what it means is: we will not be buying that $13 electronic pen that sends messages to that *other* $13 dollar electronic pen within a ten foot range. If I want to spend $26 for you and your sibling to communicate with each other when you're in the same room, I will buy you 1300 pencils. And a pad of paper.

3. Similarly, I will not be buying you that plastic pointer with the creepy little gloved hand on top, the little plastic purse trimmed in marabou feathers, or the plastic bobblehead Chihuahua. In fact, if it's made of plastic, it's almost certainly not a book, and see Rule #1 above.

4. While we're at it, no books with props. No books that come with stickers, markers, stuffed animals, charms or other jewelry. And absolutely no books with electronic sound effects. If it requires bells and whistles beyond good writing and nicely-drawn illustrations, it's probably not worth reading.

5. Also: No books that are based on TV shows, movies, trading cards, toys or computer games. I realize that you are young and may not realize whether a character in a book predates a character in a movie, so let me spell it out for you: Charlotte's Web, Curious George, and Arthur can come home with us. Hannah Montana, High School Musical, and Pokemon cannot.

6. Last but not least, a guiding principle: Titles in great literature almost never contain the word "fart."

Comments

[Julie]

Rule #6 is by no means hard and fast. What most people don't realize is that The Sound and the Fury wasn't, in fact, Faulkner's first choice of title.

[Alison]

Good one, Julie!

I agree with all of your rules, Becky. Since when did all the junky toys become part of the book fair?

[Nancy]

Oh, I am so glad I am not the only one with these book fair rules. I know Mimi thinks I am oppressing her when I do not let her buy the 1 foot glittery pencil.

We may not spoil them in a lot of ways, but if my kids figured out that (good) books are my weakness, they'd be able to walk home with tons of stuff from the book fair. But they'd have to acquire what I define as acceptable books and not any of the stuff you list in the latter part of point 5. :-)

[landismom]

Amen, sister!

[Caroline]

Sing it! Man, I hate all the peripheral stuff that the girl drags home with any given book. Particularly stickers. Gah!

[JenniferB]

My kids have finally figured this out too (I have the same rules!) and so they pick out books, we buy them, then they go back in and buy the crap with their own money, if they are still desperate for it. I usually still impose a rule on them that they can't spend more than (whatever) on the junk, and fortunately they don't whine as badly about that anymore.

[Cheryl Burgess]

I'm going to print this out and give it to my girls before their next book fair.

[susan]

I don't care about the movie tie-in books so much -- they aren't great literature, but I'm sure I would have longed for them when I was a kid. However, I prefer checking those types of books out of the library if I can!

[Hoo]

My goal in the past has been to drop a chunk of change at the twice a year book fairs for both kids - reasoning being that I ignore every other fundraiser save the (twice a year!) school pictures. But now, the very local economy (as in - my household) has necessitated cutting back in every category. And that will mean book fair too. I'm tempted to just let them buy the pen or stickers and skip the books, but I know, I know, it's like try to cut the grocery bill by feeding them from the fast food dollar menu. Why does virtue have to be so damn expensive?

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