Summertime Blues

I think I'm becoming a passive-aggressive blogger. I don't post for a while, check my comments once a week or so, and only when someone says, "Where are you?" do I get around to posting again. Like I'm punishing the Internet with my absence or something, and someone has to ask me to come back before I do.

Actually, none of that is true. I don't have a passive-aggressive bone in my body. I'm a big believer in asking for what I want in plain English. This is not because I'm especially virtuous, it's because I'm lazy: I want what I want as soon as possible, and I've learned the quickest way to get it is not to tap-dance around things.

And I haven't been blogging, not because I've been waiting for someone to beg me to come back, but just because I'm out of steam. Many of the online comments to the Newsweek column were just horrid and mean; plenty of others were well-intended, but seemed to convey that the commenters believed I am trying to make a victim out of my kid, and make everyone do what I want. I guess I can see how they could get that impression, even if it's not true. But it was still depressing: I was hoping to educate people about food allergies, and instead, I seem for many to have confirmed their stereotype of a hysterical parent with a neurotic child.

There's other stuff, too--school let out a week early because of a still-unresolved power outage. My son still has almost no friends, but now he's aware of it and it's making him sad and he's bored and I feel guilty. Pain in my lower back and hip has driven me back to my chiropractor, who dropped me today, on the very coccyx that has been ailing me for weeks. I've been complaining for years about various pains in my ass, and now I have a literal one. That, my friends, is poetic justice.

Things aren't all bad. In fact, in general, things are quite good, but I am just feeling blue. Please bear with me. I am not optimistic about getting my groove back, as the last confirmed sighting was in 1989, but I do hope to get my snark back sometime real soon.

Comments

[Heather]

I (long time lurker) loved your Newsweek article, especially the part about being insanely lucky. You know, until those other people have some kind of thing to deal with for their child, they won't get it. They just can't get it. And thank goodness that most people don't ever have to deal with a severe allergy or a kid with no friends but that doesn't give them the right to be mean to you!!

[divrchk]

Wow. I am surprised by the comments on your article. FWIW, I thought that it was very well written and I didn't think that you were asking much of people other than to understand the dangers of food allergies. I think that you certainly confirmed what sort of whackos are out there posing possible threats to all people with food allergies. Seriously, one person said they were mad that they couldn't have peanuts on an airplane? How many other snacks are out there? Craziness for sure.

[Alison]

I just read your article and the comments. Good Lord, some people are stupid. Hang in there, girl--you're doing the best you can for your family.

[Missie]

Anyone who said something mean about my fwen Becky is just a big mean Poopy McDooDoo Head.

You and Napoleon Dynamite's gramma are the only people I have ever known who have hurt/broken/injured their coccyx. Awesome.

p.s. Dear Becky's Doctor, Please refer to Chiropractic Medicine #101: Why It's Not Good to Drop Patients and Other Important Stuff for a refresher course.

p.s.s. The chemicals in chocolate have shown a direct link to the easing of pain in one's buttal area. Just fyi.

[Hoo]

Whoa - I read the article when it went online, but didn't see the comments until I read here today. Take heart in that the majority of the comments were supportive and the ones that weren't tended to have poor spelling, and we all know what that means.
I sympathize with the blues. I myself feel a real summer of discontent coming on. I may go back to Newsweek and take it out on some of those trolls.

[Kelly]

I think the blues are going around, since things are going relatively well for us yet I just can't get up the energy to blog either. I hear ya, Becki!

FWIW, I was making some orange oil pumice soap today and thought about sending you some. If it'd help perk you up in the least, let me know!

[julie]

Your chiropractor DROPPED you?! The hell?

Some days/weeks/months are just hard to get excited about. I hope your funk is over soon!

[Dianna]

Good for you getting your message out...no one should EVER be criticized for standing up for their child.

I agree with Missie~chocolate will do your ka~dunk~a~dunk good. AND it is scientifically proven to boost your mood. Sooo you will feel great and so will the junk in your trunk. (That's what you call a *win/win*)

[badsissy]

Tell me, does your doc know he dropped my lawyer of a sister, not that it makes a difference, he shouldn't be dropping anyone. Sorry your blusing. Wish I could be there but in the state I'm in I would just make it worse. Go for the chocolate, no nuts or shared equiptment though.

[carmen]

Dude. Those comments? Man. I wish for each and everyone of those people to develop a Class 6 tree nut allergy. They should have to experience what they so ignorantly poo-poo.

Seriously. They ARE full of poo-poo, so says the mom of a severe food allergic kid.

Nice article. Very well written.

[Brenda]

I've missed your writing and wondered if you were writing some where else. I can't believe some of the comments on that article. Some people are idiots. I'm glad see a new post from you and hope to see more soon. (((HUGS)))

[Becki]

I just had to say 'hey' to another mom-not-teen who spells her name Becky-with-an-i. I found your blog very funny, as I read several past posts, and strangely familiar. I have 2 kids with a peanut allergy. If I even think about eating Reese's as I pass them in the store I swear my kids start breathing hard. My biggest question to corporate food America is why in the world would you put peanut oil into every pack of purse sized cheesy crackers that you make? I mean come on, Creamy Cheddar and Chives crackers should not promote an outbreak of the Epi-Pen ever handy in the purse next to them!

[Becki]

I just had to say 'hey' to another mom-not-teen who spells her name Becky-with-an-i. I found your blog very funny, as I read several past posts, and strangely familiar. I have 2 kids with a peanut allergy. If I even think about eating Reese's as I pass them in the store I swear my kids start breathing hard. My biggest question to corporate food America is why in the world would you put peanut oil into every pack of purse sized cheesy crackers that you make? I mean come on, Creamy Cheddar and Chives crackers should not promote an outbreak of the Epi-Pen ever handy in the purse next to them!

[Brandie]

((((hugs))) Hang in there Becki.

[Butrfly Garden]

I couldn't even read through all the comments. Though I did love how someone CAPYELLED at badsissy because he knows more than her about your daughter's appointments. :) At least they didn't link to your blog!

That itchy throat thing is exactly what I get. Or, got. I haven't eaten a nut in years. Lydia's lucky, though. Because my mom was the one who didn't believe me that I couldn't eat that stuff. I've never been tested - I was supposed to set up my test when my daycare girl quit. I need to get in there for that.

Anyway, we all know what happens when we open ourselves up to the opinions of the interweb. I thought the article was great and I don't think it portrayed the "Crazed parent" at all!

On the friends note - On Nick's last day of school, they did a "Say one nice thing" game. Nick's paper had at least three comments to the effect of, "Don't worry, you'll have friends next year." Breaks a momma's heart.

[Nancy]

I haven't been around much because I'm in a blog funk, so I can relate.

I did mean to tell you though that I read the article when you first sent it (weeks ago, sorry) and I thought you were amazing and articulate, and I am so proud to "know" you. I can't believe how mean and petty some of the online commenters are. Just ignore them -- they're impowered by the anonymity of the online forum, but not nearly so brave (or ignorant, hopefully) in real life.

[JenniferB]

I thought your article was great -- I wonder if the haters are people who have perfect lives, and/or, no children or allergies, etc. Those of us who live, like you, in the real world, understand that stuff happens and sometimes we want to talk about it. I hope you get your snark back soon -- I love to read your blog!

[susan]

Ignore those idiots. People can be so hateful online, and for what? I thought it was a fine article and very well written. My dd was in a young fives classroom with a boy who has a peanut allergy and I was amazed that some parents ignored the teacher's request not to send "nutty" food for snack time. She ended up having to have those kids sit at a different table and wash everything and every kid after snacktime. Unbelievable.

[Kristen De Deyn Kirk]

Hi Becki,

I didn't realize the reaction was bad. At the magazine I worked for before I went freelance, we came to realize that people who are unhappy or somehow feel personally attacked were MUCH more likely to write in (and I use the word "write" loosely) -- but we couldn't use that feedback as being statistically valid, meaning the majority of readers hated us. Did you link the article to parenting sites or allergy sites? I'd imagine responses there would be so supportive. They better be! You know we are in the same boat with children with allergies and I know every parent has to advocate for what they think is best. Don't hold back. What did I read on a bumper sticker today...Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes! What I hope is that those mean people who wrote in talked to other people they knew and those folks set 'em straight.

[Music_master]

Have you been turned down by other lenders?