The title of this post is the title I jokingly gave to the Word file in which I saved an essay I had written about dealing with my daughter's peanut allergy. I wrote the essay with the intention of submitting it via e-mail to Newsweek's "My Turn" column. I wrote it, edited it, re-edited it, and submitted it all without leaving my chair, because I knew if I saved it and looked at it later, I'd never have the nerve to submit it.
And they took it.
I hadn't told anyone about the submission, because the odds of getting published are pretty slim. That, and the fact that my phone has Caller ID, were the only things that convinced me I wasn't being punk'd when the editor from Newsweek called. I don't remember too much about the phone call, because my attention was focused on not sounding like a hick from the Midwest, which I am not. I am a hick from Western New York who happens to live in the Midwest.
I do remember her asking me if I was still interested in having the essay published, like maybe I would have decided, in the two months since its submission, that Newsweek is a little beneath me. I remember her telling me what Newsweek pays for these essays and restraining myself from telling her I'd have done it for free (which, now that I know there's money involved, I absolutely will NOT, because I'm greedy that way). I remember her saying something about four to six weeks (publication date? when she'll call me next? who can say for sure?). And I remember her saying that a photo editor or photographer would call me very soon, because they publish peoples' pictures next to these columns. Full-length pictures.
And a very nice man did call, making preliminary arrangements for the picture taking, which he suggested take place with my daughter in either a supermarket, reading labels, or in my kitchen trying to locate a clear spot on the counter amidst the debris preparing some food. I did have the presence of mind to ask him if he could Photoshop out the dirt. I forgot, however, to suggest that he save himself the trouble and just use a stock photo of Heidi Klum, since people are always mixing us up anyway.
I'm still flabbergasted about the whole thing (not about looking like Heidi Klum, I'm totally used to that). I'll post about what issue it's going to be in when I find out.